Friends, family, everyone in the world;
I apologize for the lapse in communication. Things have changed rapidly, then reached a plateau, and now appear poised for another rapid change.
Lynn has had some lucid moments in the past days, but spends most of the time in deep sleep or disturbing hallucinations. (Some of them are not so disturbing. Happy ghost children running and hiding from her was fun for her, and yesterday she saw an enjoyable flying monkey going by the bedroom window.) Most of her hallucinations – if the really are such – include you folks. She sees crowds of friends and family around, asking questions, and giving support.
Her vital signs, as measured by Blood pressure and pulse, remain strong. She has a strong body under the cancer. Her real vital signs – measured by such things as urine and such – tell a very different story. Lynn has days left, but thinks that each breath is her last. She is in excruciating pain despite the efforts of the Hospice team. Much of that pain they attribute to the emotional struggle.
Lynn has not yet found peace with the ultimate outcome. She cries out for the ability to hug her children and give them comfort. She has not accepted their need to give her comfort.
Lynn has always been a strong and self-determined woman. Giving herself over to my care, to the care of God, or to the universe has proved a huge challenge for her.
Please continue to care for her in your prayers, meditation, or other positive thoughts.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Update - October 18, 2009
Joe here - Just wanted everyone to know that Lynn has decided to end chemo. She's gone beyond curative efforts and has moved to hospice care, in our home. The doctors and nurses of the hospice team are trying to manage her pain and provide some quality of life in her remaining time. We do not have any idea how much time that is, but the target is to enjoy Christmas with the kids.
She's been in excruciating pain these past few days, even got an ambulance trip to the ER a couple of nights ago. No more hospitals. No more tests or invasive treatment. We pray that the pain is managed soon and that she is able to enjoy some good days with friends and family.
Her Mom is here, and her brother arrives on Tuesday.
From me, thank you for all of the support - prayers, love, financial, and otherwise. No amount of thanks is enough to express my astonishment at how wonderful human beings can actually be.
She's been in excruciating pain these past few days, even got an ambulance trip to the ER a couple of nights ago. No more hospitals. No more tests or invasive treatment. We pray that the pain is managed soon and that she is able to enjoy some good days with friends and family.
Her Mom is here, and her brother arrives on Tuesday.
From me, thank you for all of the support - prayers, love, financial, and otherwise. No amount of thanks is enough to express my astonishment at how wonderful human beings can actually be.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Lynn's status - September 22, 2009
Dear friends, family, and loved ones,
Joe here. It has been a while since I sent out any sort of email regarding Lynn’s condition. Now seems like a good time to do so.
It has been three-and-a half years since Lynn was given a terminal cancer diagnosis. At the time they gave her 6-20 months to live, based on the statistics for her cancer. She still feels like she has at least that long to go, and is working on making the best of the time.
Lynn’s original rectal cancer has since spread to her liver, tons of lymph nodes, ribs, and vertebrae. She has undergone seven different regimens of Chemo, and more radiation than any body should ever see. Through it all she has managed to maintain a positive outlook and has aggressively managed her own care. In March she had an intrathecal pain pump surgically implanted so that she could manage the chronic pain with the least amount of drugs.
In early August Lynn took our two kids, Robbie and Jackie (now 7 and 6 years old) and our wonderful nanny Morgann Smith to Vermont. It was to be a two-week vacation with family and old friends. A few days into the visit, Lynn noticed a marked increase in her back pain. The next day she felt weakness in her legs. A few trips to the emergency room later emergency surgery was performed. The tumor in her T10 vertebra had grown to the point where it had compressed her spinal cord, removing all sensation from the waist down. (If you draw a line across the bottoms of your shoulder blades, that’s about where it is.) Lynn was paralyzed.
The surgeons removed as much of the tumor as they felt appropriate and stabilized the spine with rods and screws extending two above and two below T10. Serious surgery, to say the least. Lynn spent the next week in the Intensive care unit at Fletcher Allen Hospital. After she had stabilized enough to move out of the ICU she spent a week in Fletcher Allen. She was completely unable to move her feet or legs, and had no feeling at all below her waist. A week in Fletcher Allen and she was mover to the inpatient rehab facility. The goal was simply to get her to the point where she could sit for long enough to fly home. The pain was excruciating.
The kids and I flew home so that they could start school and have some sort of normalcy in their scary world. Lynn was left with abundant family and friends who came to visit and support her. After a month in the rehab facility in Vermont, Lynn flew home, accompanied by a physical therapist from the VT hospital.
Lynn arrived in Salt Lake and has ended up at the inpatient rehab facility at Intermountain Medical Center. The goal now is to get her able to move in and out of her wheelchair and have enough upper body strength to be somewhat independent. She has been able to move her legs, but can’t yet feel if they are moving or where they might be. She describes it as feeling like a floating torso. The therapists are encouraged by her progress, though, and haven’t ruled out the possibility that she may walk again. We are trying to get the house ready for her arrival, with a stair lift, ramps, and an accessible shower.
One of the trials/blessings through all of this is that I have been unemployed. Blessing because I have been able to take care of the kids, trial in that we are essentially broke. The outpouring of love and caring has been a bit overwhelming. I told Lynn, “I was always taught to give. Nobody teaches you how to receive.” I’m learning. Our dear friend Laurie Rehmer has been coordinating folks in Salt Lake to help us out with the building and retrofitting of the house, and even some fund-raising to help with the expenses. I’m not happy to be in such a position of needing help, but I am truly touched by how much people really do want to help.
Lynn will be in the rehab for a week or so more. Her address is:
Lynn Laberge
Intermountain Medical Center
Room 1225
5121 S. Cottonwood Street
Murray, UT 84157
Joe here. It has been a while since I sent out any sort of email regarding Lynn’s condition. Now seems like a good time to do so.
It has been three-and-a half years since Lynn was given a terminal cancer diagnosis. At the time they gave her 6-20 months to live, based on the statistics for her cancer. She still feels like she has at least that long to go, and is working on making the best of the time.
Lynn’s original rectal cancer has since spread to her liver, tons of lymph nodes, ribs, and vertebrae. She has undergone seven different regimens of Chemo, and more radiation than any body should ever see. Through it all she has managed to maintain a positive outlook and has aggressively managed her own care. In March she had an intrathecal pain pump surgically implanted so that she could manage the chronic pain with the least amount of drugs.
In early August Lynn took our two kids, Robbie and Jackie (now 7 and 6 years old) and our wonderful nanny Morgann Smith to Vermont. It was to be a two-week vacation with family and old friends. A few days into the visit, Lynn noticed a marked increase in her back pain. The next day she felt weakness in her legs. A few trips to the emergency room later emergency surgery was performed. The tumor in her T10 vertebra had grown to the point where it had compressed her spinal cord, removing all sensation from the waist down. (If you draw a line across the bottoms of your shoulder blades, that’s about where it is.) Lynn was paralyzed.
The surgeons removed as much of the tumor as they felt appropriate and stabilized the spine with rods and screws extending two above and two below T10. Serious surgery, to say the least. Lynn spent the next week in the Intensive care unit at Fletcher Allen Hospital. After she had stabilized enough to move out of the ICU she spent a week in Fletcher Allen. She was completely unable to move her feet or legs, and had no feeling at all below her waist. A week in Fletcher Allen and she was mover to the inpatient rehab facility. The goal was simply to get her to the point where she could sit for long enough to fly home. The pain was excruciating.
The kids and I flew home so that they could start school and have some sort of normalcy in their scary world. Lynn was left with abundant family and friends who came to visit and support her. After a month in the rehab facility in Vermont, Lynn flew home, accompanied by a physical therapist from the VT hospital.
Lynn arrived in Salt Lake and has ended up at the inpatient rehab facility at Intermountain Medical Center. The goal now is to get her able to move in and out of her wheelchair and have enough upper body strength to be somewhat independent. She has been able to move her legs, but can’t yet feel if they are moving or where they might be. She describes it as feeling like a floating torso. The therapists are encouraged by her progress, though, and haven’t ruled out the possibility that she may walk again. We are trying to get the house ready for her arrival, with a stair lift, ramps, and an accessible shower.
One of the trials/blessings through all of this is that I have been unemployed. Blessing because I have been able to take care of the kids, trial in that we are essentially broke. The outpouring of love and caring has been a bit overwhelming. I told Lynn, “I was always taught to give. Nobody teaches you how to receive.” I’m learning. Our dear friend Laurie Rehmer has been coordinating folks in Salt Lake to help us out with the building and retrofitting of the house, and even some fund-raising to help with the expenses. I’m not happy to be in such a position of needing help, but I am truly touched by how much people really do want to help.
Lynn will be in the rehab for a week or so more. Her address is:
Lynn Laberge
Intermountain Medical Center
Room 1225
5121 S. Cottonwood Street
Murray, UT 84157
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)